The End

It will be brand new place to self talk.

http://meteorjourney.blogspot.sg/

Warning go at your own risk. LOL!!!!

It's Heavy

I just can't stop worrying! just can't

周杰倫【哪裡都是你】Jay Chou "You are everywhere"

Stay Strong

Stay strong and everything will be fine. Just smile. you will be ok...

cherish

She's there not forever cherish her before everything it's too late.

Change to be a better person for the person you loves
 Most!!!

You are the best that i ever had

I just want to reflect myself...

The word "我" is often found it beside my mouth, i made it such a big deal that i thought that I'm always the center of focus. But in fact, people doesn't really give a damn about me actually.

Thanks to my girlfriend today whom really wake me up. Because I'm so engrossed in telling people what i know, what i want to tell them even thought they are not interested at all. I have failed to observed their expressions.

Just take this recent case, i invited my army friends to my house for a small gathering. I'm thought that I'm the host, i should be entertaining them. but problem is i just kept talking about myself. I'm really very "Jia lat".

Today, just learn from teacher saying that, there are 3 type of worst case scenario. Pardon me if i can't explain it clearly,
1. You know you have done wrong but you still keeps on continuing to do it.
2. You know the things you had done wrong but you still influence your friend to do it with you.
3. The worst of all 3, you don't even know that you have done wrong.

And out of this 3, i possessed all. :( the journey isn't easy at all but one must constantly observed himself what he is doing at all time. Observed the things happening around, people's reaction is very important!!!.

I have too much fault in me! I have alot to brush up. I really need to have "依六想" otherwise i will never be able to change.

I pray that i will be able to do it not to let down of myself, and also to the people i love whom shows me so much of support. Hope that i will be able to cultivate a correct attitude and mentality so that i can provide a safe and stable shelter for them.

Reflection

Sometimes i really question myself, when food i lost the sense if urgency de mode. I really ponder.

To be very honest i let go of my own mistake so lightly at times. But that is not good at all. My attitude towards my life is like a chui. Like cmi like that... Seriously...

I saw my lamrin classmate posted her post on the group. She had only attend for just a month but i saw how she treasure shi fu's teaching. I'm really very "can gui". How come my thinking isn't like hers? I can really see how she cherish shifu's every teaching eh even though her Chinese isn't really good, but she keep on trying without fail. I Salute her.

How can i not forgive myself so easily so that i know the sense of urgency is very important!!!
I want to change my attitude towards my life to more like "jí jì".

Cracking my brain~~~~

This week to sum it up, i am really very happy, even though we are in the midst of having bad weather.

Let's start of with Monday. I received my "father's day" gifts from my cute babies!!!! all of you are just so awesome, work hard and earn money just to buy present for me!!!! And of course my dearest girl. Thank you for putting so much effort for the present as well... Love you... <3 p="">
So the present i received was,
1. One nice nice de grey colour shirt. It fit really just nice for my body!!! :D
2. One Denim pants~~~ I love the material a lot lo!!!
3. One brown belt. will try to wear when there's chance~~~
4. Lastly the favourite item i love most!!! The "Father's day" card.

Tuesday i think the weather start to change and neither do we know that it will be so bad till all of us did not made any preparation for it at all. Maybe in the future our country can improve on the weather forecast and the wind direction.

Tuesday stayed at home and trying to do my project,  after that meet up with bi and go to my class together!!!!! It was a successful event on the day itself and we did enjoy ourselves. Have a bit more understanding of "gong fo".

Wednesday, went to work and the weather was already very bad cause the PSI value went up to 300+ hmm, Luckily work place able to provide a minimum protection, surgery mask.The Aunty at my workplace went to brew herbal tea for us just to keep us healthy. Thanks Aunty!!!

Thursday, same as usual go to work in the morning and have a awesome night!!!! Last week both of us thought of going to swim this Thursday but for some reasons, we change and decide to go eat!!! NOM NOM NOM... So we went to "Zhong Qing Hua Guo" to have dinner. Cause bi is craving for the "Da Tou" and it's really huge!!!!!! :) We had a eating marathon like that from 7 plus eat till  11.30 pm.

After that then i go to collect surgery mask from my Tkd senior, Yan Hui.!!!! Thanks for being so kind sharing with me. God bless you!!!

Friday, the PSI went crazy again ba. went up to 401. Don't know what to say but slowly can use to this kind of weather and wearing mask everytime i go out le. It's no healthy, I know. But no point complaining, today bi also share with me that our secondary school mate went to donate 500 N 95 mask. This is really awesome.

That's what we should be doing, in the sense that we are really looking after one another. Let's be like him, if you are capable of helping someone that really needs it just help. Don't hold back yourself.

Hmmm, I am really worried how you are doing, bi. Really~~~ :( anyway, I will still trust that you are a big girl and able to take care of yourself very well.

Finally finished partially of my project and going to sleep liao otherwise tomorrow will be very tired, cause need to buy N95 masks for her family and mine.

If you guys need mask, do approach me, I'll be able to direct the number to contact. They are selling it at $32 for 20 pieces of mask. Night.

she's still :) I'm happy

I Had chat with her this morning.... Didn't know some how she finally think through about what i have said le... Happy!!!!

She specially prepare something... :D

Hope all things will go well!!!

< / 3

derettahs!!!!!!!!!! :'(

i think this is my first time in so many years upload my blog with pictures... :D

: D has a simple msg, i'm so satisfied. thanks, thanks you so much.

Anyway, i shall start doing my lamrin homework from the day one till now which i did not make the effort to write down, hopefully i do it slowly and my monitor can help me check. I will jia you de.

Today help them take photo for them... they just love the jacket so much.... HAHA... :)

Last night, my mum asked me whether want to go market with her a not... I said ok ah but must 7am oh... This morning i woke up and before i prepare, i saw my mum's door is still close. went to msg her are we going? and she open the door, can i sleep and don't cook this afternoon... I'm like LOL, i can eat the porridge left over last night de la... :D

hmmm, today have learn to know why we need to 浴佛, thanks to monitor letting us see the video on how great the buddha is. thanks monitor.... these video really touch my heart deeply. I want to OMAK one person, whom brought me here and letting me understand a few things. It's no only just a few things, there is alot more things to learn every week.

How did i celebrate my Mother's Day? hmmm, it will be a very memorable one!!!
How about some pictures to tell the story? :D

 Flower for her~~~

 Tea Ceremony

 Sharing and interacting with my mum

 First time i kneel down offering tea to my mum.

 Just look at her expression on her face.... The face so red and the smile so wide, like the face going to crack liao lo... haha



How can i forget her too... :) Thanks... <3>

I think the celebration went on smoothly. and sorry for the late post... Finally understand something through this bloging. I have learned not just only personal emotional though than blog de. It's about all the happy things that you want to write down and keep the memories beautiful.

I shall go back on my studies le. alot alot to learn from you shifu. Thanks for accompany me walk through the journey as long as i don't give up. 合十。

so near but yet so far

Saw this person while I'm waiting for my bus back from home. Why i notice this person because He's acting too suspiciously liao.

In the end he was waiting for a girl but somehow did not step up to her. Do they know each a not. Lol.... 

In the end he hid behind the pillar behind the bus stop just sending the person up the bus with he's eyes. He's bag like a more suspicion, so huge. After that he board the next bus. 

In the end I don't know what is this person trying to do.

Anyway, this week had been working and working. Work place the aunty realcaring for all the staff!!! Cook "Liang Teh" for us cause of the crazy weather. 

Thank so much aunty!!! Also, In2 contacted me to help up with their event. So next well will be helping them on Monday Wednesday and Thursday. Shall rest my weekends. If riverview request me to work then work ba.

And also. Just want to say. I miss you badly.

After a Tiring and Pack Week

Well today is Thursday, quite a special day for us. BTW, it is GOOD FRIDAY TOMORROW!!!!!!! WWWEEEEEE!!!!!

Working in the day and studying in the night is really not easy after-all. This Semester is still left  with 2 more group project due on the second week of April. As for examination will be on First week of May. I really ponder whether other groups are like us working so hard for the group project which only occupied 20% of the entire module. Maybe it's a way to help us to score so that during the written paper we need not worry too much???

Baby have to submit her assignment by tonight 12am, so she got to rush le... While i accompany her and do my blogging first and assignment later. Recently i have no idea why my neck and shoulder is aching so badly, thanks to baby yesterday help me massage a while my neck was relax!!! Thanks baby.

On Monday i have receive a reply from malaysia high court but wheresle ICA only have the automated reply saying that they will reply in 5 working days. Seriously!!! 5 working days!!! As for the staff in Malaysia High Court, they were like really super efficient and helpful and directed me what to do and how they could help me to find my FORM K but it will take them awhile for them cause this is quite a old case. Thanks~~

Today, with multiple of phone calls to Singtel, I finally have cancel the line, 97893597. :D time to clear this debt to lessen my burden. Nvm, don't talk about this anymore.

This weekend will be quite pack with lots of fun activities!!! :) Let's list out,
Friday, go pray in the morning... I'm planning to make her a simple breakfast to reward her....
hmmm, during the afternoon maybe visit my mother and tabao rojak for her since she have to work and not able to leave her store just in case there are customer. Then BKT~~~~
Roughly at 3pm, We have book a place to sing and baby can relax herself after rushing assignment back to back. till 7 pm maybe we can have out dinner at STEAMBOAT!!! :)

Saturday, will be going to religious class in the morning and maybe swimming after that... :D that will be the first time i go swimming with you..... :) Looking forward to it so much... <3 :p="" assignment="" back="" get="" i="" if="" jialat="" jiu="" le="" liao...="" lol.="" my="" not="" on="" really="" should="" think="" tomorrow="">

wasted morning trip

This morning I went to Malaysian high commission to take back my birth cert, was told that collection hours is from 2.30-3.30pm.

Luckily I'm able to there in the afternoon. :D hopefully, it will not be disappointing as well...
Finger cross.

Was being prompt, what values do i have for myself? I even asked myself this question. Do i have values? Alright, i should really think on this matter.

All i want is to be able to take care of you therefore i must know myself well enough and from there I need to know what i want and what is my goal in life in order to look after you in the future.

Will come out with a goal setting.
2 months time which will be
May
-clear debts from hp and internet.
-April start asking for konsotium bus company for time in may to bring her maybe her mum to Cameroon highland.
-book our BTT by April.

By June.
-Set up a account together and monthly bank in 300 and bi will bank in 200 for our future plans.
-check if there's national day ticket to book and go and watch with her. Maybe together with her mum as well?

Year 2017. Save it for 3 1/2 years in the bank.
Meanwhile,
-source for location.
-measuring the crowd
-tied down on menu
-etc.

Year 2019. 5 years down the road,  let's bid for bto.

Year 2021. 7 years down the road, i will ask you for your hand from your mother and let's get married and settle down together.

I will follow this closely!!! For our future....

Emotionless

Past few days have been relying on red wine to help me to fall asleep. This Morning i woke up exceptionally  early, stoning in front of my phone staring at it. Had tried over and over to type and rephrase the sentences. But it just can't express my feeling into words. But i still sent it after thinking through.

After that once i reach office and by right i have to go to SIM for work de. But i suddenly thought of a crazy idea, i went to took bus 45 just to see you from afar. I'm missing you so much, more then i can express over here. Every moment i will think of you...

Sorry that i hide my deepest secret from you. You told me before that between couples there shouldn't be any secret, but i really don know how to tell you this kind of things. Anyways, whatever video that you had seen was the past. I will put it to a stop, i assure you. All i wanted it's just you.
This post will be the end of me hiding things from you. like what you have mention, i will do it.

Today came to know this guy from NEC, helping me to check with there is vacancy in his job which have more benefits compare to mine. hopefully the result is good. meanwhile i have also let JunXi know that no one from OCBC have contacting me. he will go check it out. And RMA call to ask me if i'm interested in Woodlands Ring Primary school to become a ICT trainer. Hopefully there goes on smoothly as well.

I do not have the mood to go to class later at all. :( i'm missing you, in order to control myself. this is the place where i indirectly talk my heart out to you. Love you!!!!

Change....

It has been a long time since i blog, really have no idea how to start. Recalling she once told me, i should start blogging for her. I guess it's never to late to start now.

Thinking through what she told me yesterday, I'm ashamed of myself. Seriously...  I regretTed it. Sorry to whoever person i have hurt.

Promise to you, i will change to be a better person. I mean it.

Got to let go of my ego and gain courage to share things with her.

same situation happen again.... chris!!! thing happened liao, you can't fall alseep again? Torturing yourself like that, what do you benefit from it. why you dont have the courage to tell her? Is your "face" so important? what are you scare of ? people to despise you? you are brought up by a good family and yet you do not have a proper job? how should you tell them? does it matter so much on how people look at you or how you look at yourself? which is more important? Think!!! 

Suddenly, tons of memories appear in my mind. someone once taught me or told me before, " you are who you think you are, if you are going to look down on yourself, eventually people can sense it throught your action and behaviour." 

I agree to this sentence but then, since when i start to behave like this? how come i do not have the confidence? what causes me to behave like this? is it because you scare you have no friends? or you are afraid of friends betray you just like in primary school? 

1. take my note book and throw away by my best friend?

2. up front is friend but at the back, kanna stab like crazy? i was too easy to manupilate?

3. fill up my water bottle with his urine by another best friend?

4. being chased after by 4 malay classmate, all of them pin me down and one of them use my head like a soccer and kick right at it? when i grew up and ask one of them in secondary school, he told me they did it just for fun?

5. or im being brought up too well where my parents dont allow things to harm me?

6. i trust people too easily?

7. or i just like that, for so many years i cant forget these images haunting in my mind.

chris, everytime you do things, please think of the consequences dont be lazy and dont think, please dont be a simple minded creature, ask yourself, why is this like this? what will it happen if i did this? how will the other feel if you do this? dont repeat it le.

You need more courage and confident. to face yourself and family and your love one.

afterall the biggest enemy is yourself. dont get beaten by yourself. stand up and fight back please. prove to other people that you can do it. #of course talk is cheap. please bare in mind and tattoo it in your heart, dont hurt her anymore, i just cant bare to see it.

today, when i told you the truth, i can see your heart in devastating de heart, i can see it in your eyes, i really can feel it. i promise you that i will be a better person. i will change but it will be a long process, i really do not wish to hurt you anymore.

#body temperature burn like nobody business. lol, hopefully after i wake up it will go down. tmr must maintain with the pressure of rf. i must be generous. can fotsee that she will stick to rf due to what happen. got to keep in mind that i have done wrong. i am done thinking through, got to remind and reflect myself!!!! 

BE YOURSELF!!!! 

Reflection

I really doubt that anyone is reading to my blog except one dear girl, B.

Anyway, what i really want to say is, after not using my brain for such a long time, it's tedious and really not use to it squeezing my brain juice.

Slowly learn how to think a bit harder trying to understand things into much deeper indepth. But to some of you, it might be just a simple and logical thinking and simple to understand.

it's been 39 days we are together officially, there's always up and down but everytime i get to cherish you more and more.

It's also been a long time i upload photos le, you give me the enthu and motivation to do all these things which i have not done it before... :)

this is the 2 photos i like it alot too... :)

On our way there~~~~ Cute b.. :)

Doing everything together with you!!! :D

I want to have more times together with you but due to upcoming de work and lesson, bu neng kan dao ni. :'( zhen de hui hen xiang hen xiang ni.

Neng he ni zai yi qi zhen de hen xin fu too!!! I will try to understand you more~~~~~ :) cause i might have my quiet times too.. :)

Lots and Lots of <3>

Chris aka Bei.. >_< haha!!!!

I want to understand, I want to feel you

working today until one, but xin li jiu zhen de hen xiang jian ni.
dui bu qi, rang ni shou wei qu le.

letting you know so much things doesn't seem like
you will be able to take it. From the start, i didnt really wanted you to get
involve, dont want you to be hurt. but seem like it, it causes some damage
to you.

letting you know the things but then you feel discomfort.

I want to understand you, I dont want to be like

other guys whom dont even want to understand 

their gf.

i miss you

I'm Back~~~ :)

Wahaha!!!!
Close to 2 years i didn't blog liao, xin qin you ti dian qi guai... :)
My life right one has been a wonderful one accompany by my baby girl.
Have learn to cherish her and automatic to tell her my whereabouts.
You wanted me to set up a blog soon and have been waiting and waiting but i didn't move at all... PS oh... Need to start to post more of my happiness and then being the emo me every time only knows how to post sad stuffs.

Being together with you i really felt so comfortable!!! Muacks. :3
Our first Month-niversary is coming!!! have prepare small small de things.
can't wait for our batam trip!!! <3 span="span">