I'm tired!!!

You just can't see that i'm tired!!!!! THAT's alll!!!!!!! I've been working so hard so hard!!!!! IT'S SO DAMN HARD!!!!!! BUT U JUST TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.... u just care that i don have care for you... WHY!!!! Cause i'm working for our future!!! and yet u just don understand!!!!

I am seriously under pressure!! Do u know what?? If i stop working for one day, i am so scare!! Damn scare that we don't have the money... I've been asking myself whether or not to see a phyciarist!! I Give myself so much pressure but yet u just don know... u don know why am i working so hard!!! I hate it...

U just think that i work and work and work....... do have time for you.... but u know what, i try to meet you everyday if i finish work early even thought that i am dead tired!! You don't look like u appreciate that..... You know how hard i work for the money just for us???

I am tired!!! really tired, just would u mind give me a small break? i just want to relax alone some times!! I lost my crab today! just looking at my puffer fish really make my day end happily... they so good.. swim here and there, don need to work... and got such a caring de owner always look after them...

controlling temperature, the salt level, the ammonia level, the filter!! i will change the water every 2 or 3 days without fail even though i am so so tired... Puffy, u really make my day end smiling sweetly.... You are just so so adorable!! love you 2!! (i don have name for them) LOL

Chris's brain formating, reformating the whole system, deleting those people i don wish to know at all.
Processing....


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Complete!

Ur brain has reformated, press OK to continue... You are out of my life, please don come back. >.<

夢 飛 船 - 不 值 得

夢 飛 船 - 不 值 得

除了想你 除了爱你 Huuuu~~
我什么什么 都愿意
翻开日记 整理心情 Huuuu~~
我真的真的 想放弃

你始终没有爱过 你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略 我的感受
我真的感到力不从心
无力继续

这感情 不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过你
这种回忆 不值得我提起
不值得想起
不值得哭泣

这段感情 早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你
不值得我恨你
不值得我为你而坏了心情
我决定不为你而毁了心、放弃爱你

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coYIsPIkokM

 I really want to hate you, but you're not worth it any more!!!
why treat me like that??? I have no clue at all? explain??
Isn't it unfair for me?  Then i rather don't know you from the start at all!!

我的名字 叫明志 这个自我介绍方式
从小老师 就认为我是想要惹事
我热爱文字 我讨厌公式 我不想面对考试
我更讨厌你规定我的头发款式

我的思考方式 没有人能够抑制
大人都固执的怪我固执 不懂事
我明白 待人處事都有 它的模式
但不代表 全部人都要变成孔子

十五岁 那年初 我染上音乐的毒
我透过音符 来降低我内心的无助
我学习美术 但依然无法省悟
是孤独创造梵谷 还是反顾创造孤独

中学毕业后 华人得自求多福
挥毁衣袖 我决定要到台湾留宿
爸爸妈妈不要担心 我不会辜负
等我读完书 一定会回到归属

我会好好过 我必须好好过
想家的时候 我就打开电脑拼命创作
墙壁上的大马国旗 是我的寄託
床头的那张全家福 總是让我振作

一个人 在外国 要独立生活
我做过很多工作 我面对很多数落
无论在辛苦 还有音乐陪着我
我理想没有变 因为我 还是我

CHORUS
我有我自己的梦 自己会走
就算再寂寞
请原谅我的冲动 我会好好过
（相信我还是我）
我不怕暴雨狂风 将我淹没
依然往前走
就算路途再癫颇 我不能回头
（相信我还是我）

2007年 那是个迟来的夏天
改变国歌事件 让我人生从此改变
透过网际网络 我闯了祸
但我坚持没有犯错

有人说我叛国 有人想干掉我 有人 说不让我回国
要我磕头认错 政客趁机出头 媒体还配合炒作
世界各地的记者CALL我
我必须学会沉著

谣言越来越多 让人陷入惶恐
甚至 还有人把偷渡线图 SEND给我
爸爸妈妈 对不起 不要难过
墙壁上的国旗 我从来没有折过

我破了千万点阅 也上了个大版面
有人喜欢有人讨厌 面临舆论考验
我的故事 被文学家 写进了书
我的脸 还被人画成了 卡通人物

再多褒舆貶 都已经过境迁
毕业后的我 决定勇敢面对误解
我用陆路 交通跨越六各国度
拍摄记录 沿途上的惊险 和领悟

一步步 很艰苦 终于回到大马领土
被拍照 被访问 还被叫到警察终部
虽然 你们都把我 当成公众人物
但我必须稳住 要保持个人创作元素

CHORUS2
我有我自己的梦 自己会走
就算再寂寞
请原谅我的冲动 我会好好过
（相信我还是我）
我不怕暴雨狂风 将我淹没
依然往前走
就算路途再癫颇 我不能回头
（相信我还是我）

有人说 我的作品茶毒青年思想
有人说 我的头脑都在胡思乱想
说我乱讲 说我是社会毒瘤发痒
还怪我 变成他孩子的偶像

面对攻击 我早就已经习惯
保持沉默微笑 是我最好的答案
装模作样 从来就不是我的强项
但我出门逛逛 却要伪伪装装

我的EMAIL 每天都有人来 诉苦
但我爱莫能助应为我不是 政府
你们来我FACEBOOK 鼓励我 低毁我
我不删除 因为那是言论自由淨土

我想要让你听见 让你看见
我想说的话 我的电影 和我的音乐
徘徊尺度边缘 自由自在的畅所欲言
那时主流媒体 永远看不到的世界

我站在不同的角度 我不会停下脚步
这条思路 是老天送给我的礼物
你说我糊涂 你甚至想要把我说服
对不起 我还是我 那就是我的态度

在KUALAR LUMPUR 开始了新的生活
这里人潮汹涌 马路坑坑洞洞
一不小心 我可能会在这里失控
这条路很难走 但我已经没有回头

我还是我 我还是我（X2）

CHORUS2

我有我自己的梦 自己会走
就算再寂寞
请原谅我的冲动 我会好好过
（相信我还是我）
我不怕暴雨狂风 将我淹没
依然往前走
就算路途再癫颇 我不能回头
（相信我还是我）

我还是我 YEAH~~~ （X2）

By NameWee, Huang Ming Zhi
Loves~~

am I the cause that u don blog??? haix... I really want to get over it.... how?? anyone pls solve my problem....

Haix!!!!!

我变的越来越怕跟你说话了。。 我真的很怕我会再一次的动心.。 就连短讯我都不敢发出 去.。。 我真的不知道如何解决这个问题， 我好烦啊！！！！！！！！！

Why do i go see that blog earlier on second of march...

I am too late for everything now... If i knew it earlier is i possible to change everything?? haix... Foolish me!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Argh!!!!!

Song

This song some how can describe me.

我们没有在一起.

你一直说的那个公园已经拆了,

还记得荡着秋千日子就飞起来.
慢慢的下午阳光都在脸撒野,
你那傻气 我真是想念.

那时候小小的你还没学会叹气,
谁又会想到 他们现在喊我女王.
你哈哈笑的样子 倒是一点没变,
时间走了 谁还在等呢.

这杯咖啡忘了加塘,
真不是我那么伤感.
世界太复杂化 你说单纯很,
我当然都明白.

可是呀, 只有你曾陪我在最初的地方,
只有你 才能了解 我要的梦从来不大.
我们没有在一起 至少还像情侣一样,
我痛的疯的伤的 在你面前哭得最惨.

我知道 你也不能带我 回到那个地方,
你说你现在很好 而且喜欢回忆很长.
我们没有在一起 至少还像家人一样,
总是 远远关心 远远分享.

那条路 走呀走呀走呀 总要回家,
两只手握着 晃呀晃呀 舍不得放.
你不知道吧 后来后来 我都在想,
跟你走吧 管它去哪呀.

我们没有在一起 至少还像朋友一样,
我远远的关心 其实 更长.

goodnigh guys!!!!

Song

When I Need You- Leo Sayer

When I need you. I just close my eyes and I'm with you.
And all that I so wanna give you. It's a heartbeat away.
When I need love. I hold out my hands and I touch love.
And never knew there was so much love.
Keeping me warm night and day.

Miles and miles of empty space in between us.
The telephone can't take the place of your smile.
Yet you know I won't be travellin' forever.
It's cold out but hold out and do like I do.

When I need you. I just close my eyes and I'm with you.
And all that I so wanna give you babe.
Only a heartbeat away. It's not easy when the road is your driver.
Honey that's a heavy load that we bear.

Yes you know I won't be travelling a lifetime.
It's cold out but hold out and do like I do.
Oh I need you~~~~~~

When I need love.
I hold out my hands and touch love.
I never knew there was so much love.
Keeping me warm night and day.

When I need you. Just close my eyes.~~~~~~~~~~
And you're right by my side.
Keeping me warm night and day.
I just hold out my hands.
And i'm with you. And all i wanna give you.
Only a heartbeat away.

Oh I want you darling.
Oh I need you darling.
And all i wanna give you.
Only a heartbeat away~~~~~~
When I need you~~~~~~

This song i liked it since primary school till now...
Miss it so much~~~~~~~LOL

Ai Qing~~~~~~

我以为不去想他, 不去看. 心里就不会思念他吗? 我真的很努力很努力想要忘记那件事!!!!
当一个人大声对另外一个人说出他的心声, 不知不觉会忍不住的掉眼泪....
虽然发生了很多很多不愉快的事, 我也不渴望会有好的变化.

有人那么说,  爱情就是游戏, 谁先付出真心谁就是输家. 可是以后他就不再输了,

另外一位女生就对他说,  如果你把爱情当做游戏. 你或许不会输, 但也不会赢啊.

他回答, 我不会再对爱情抱着不切实际的幻想. 爱情是一种错觉, 是基因在作祟, 是荷爾蒙在搞鬼. 爱情, 99% 都是假的吧, 只有一分是真的.

她: 是什么?

他: 痛!!! 痛是真实的. 可笑的是你身上没有伤, 你不会流血, 可是这种痛会扎扎实实的咬着你不放. 只到把你的心咬下来, 你才能摆脱这种痛. 没有心, 就不会痛.
再忍一下, 我就不痛 了.

她: 她值得 吗? 不过你已经很勇敢了, 明明知道爱情会让人痛, 但你还是尝试了.

他: 哈! 傻的人是我, 你知道我有多傻吗?
我在这里长编大论的同时. 我还是放不下她. 可是你知道吗? 如果她现在发一通电话给我, 我还是会放下一切, 飞奔到她身边.

A bAd Year for me~~~~

It so fast that half a year have already past, during this 6 months a lot of things happen around me... There're really a lot of unhappy stuff happened to me.... *Argh* 为什么会这样!!!!!

Lot's of things that i can't predict, can't control at all!! I hate this kind of thing... This year i had change a lot.. Really a lot that i don't even regconise who am i, Where is the old me??? Haix...... I don want to know so much things.... What for u know so much in the end you have to do a lot more then de other and u eventually can calculate roughly what will happen! I rather be a person who follow through motion and be a blur f*(k so i don know anything at all....

Rejected by airforce due to citizenship, People lose their trust towards me, No longer people look up to me... I am just nobody!!!! Most importantly is that this year i lost my best friend!!! *Argh!!!!*



Tml will be exactly one month since the thing happen, till now i still can't forget and forgive myself.... But i have to continue walking promise myself that i won't contact anymore... Never... 就是不能原谅这样的自己!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

爱情!

爱情是撒旦送来的礼物, 拆开之后你的人生就陷入万劫不负.
爱情是毒药穿的糖衣, 甜美的包装下是致命的危机.
爱情是残酷的游戏, 当你好不容以鼓起勇气付出真心的时候.
再一次让你陷入失望的绝境, 为什么不相信我的真心.
真心是笑话, 勇气是废话.
坚持是鬼话, 忠诚是梦话, 幸福是屁.
所以我的结论是 "qu ta ma" 的爱情.

Chris, I hate you!!!!!!!!!! I hate my life!!!!

You Could Be Happy.

You could be happy, and I won't know.
But u weren't happy the day I watched you go.
And all the things I wish I had not said,
are played in loops'till it's madness in my head.

Is it too late to remind you how we were.
And ot the last days of silence, screamin' blur?
Most of what I remember makes me sure,
I should have stopped you from walking out the door,

You could be happy, I hope you are.
You made me happier than I'd been by far.
Somehow everything I own smells of you.
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true .

Do the things that u always wanted to.
Without me there to hold you back, don't think just do.
More than anything I want to see you go.
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world.

Feelings in me still very puzzle~~ Haix!!! I will du guo de... JY!!

YELLOW!!!!!!!!

Look up the stars, look how they shine for~r you,
and everything you do, yeah, they were all Yellow.
I came along, i wrote a song for~r you,
and all the things you do and it's was called Yellow.
So then i took my~y turn. Oh wat a thing to've done
and it's was all Yellow.

Chorus
Your skin~ñ, oh yeah your skin and bones turn~in into something beautiful.
And you know~w i love you so, you know i love you so~~.
I swam across, i jump across for~r you. Oh what a thing to do,
cos u were all Yellow.
I drew a line, i drew a line for~ you. Oh what a thing to do,
and it was all Yellow, yeah~~.

Your skin~ñ, oh yeah ur skin and bones, turn~in into something beautiful
and you know~~. For you i'd bleed myself~~ dry.
For you i'd bleed myself Dry.

It's true, look how they shine for you~u.
Look how they shine for you~~~u,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you~~~u,
Look how they shine for you~~~u,
Look how they shine.

Look up the stars, look how they shine for~r you.
and all the things you~~u do~~~.


So into this song.. haha.. I've stand back on my feet!!!!!

人人都说时间可以治疗疼痛的伤，我也这么同义。可是伤好了却留下了一个很难看的疤，这时候就会回想当时难易忘记的事情。 在我身上就能找到这些疤痕，是我多么想忘掉的事，多希望这些事从没发生在我身上。

不知不觉明天就需要回宾营了，这段时间对我而言好慢长哦。在家里什么都没做， 可是到了深夜又睡不着， 真不想浪费时间睡觉。我这么对待身体是不是不好？？？ 哈哈，不知什么时候会倒塌。

我的人生一路走来好不容易哦，好羡慕别人过得生活不愁吃不愁喝。希望二月的interview能够通过，我就可以放心了。加油！！！ 我一定可以度过的。。。

I'm back~~

大家好~~~~~~~~~

以经很久了，我都没在部落各写我自己的感想和心情。不知不觉以经过了两年了， 和两年前的我比起来觉得自己成长了不少。从今天开始，我一有空我一定会写。

在宾营里看到很多不同的人，总总不同的事发生。学了很多很多在哪也学不到的事。就因为进去了宾营，认识到了很多朋友很多兄弟，同时呢很多小时后的朋友漸漸越离越远了，甚至连联咯都没有，感到很伤心。 多么希望能和以前的朋友重逢再一起说说话谈谈心事。

今年六月就是我做完宾的日子，开始担心出来的时候找不到工作。就决定和SAF 签合约， 因为每月都会有一定的工钱，日子也会过得好一点。想给家里过得比较幸福一点，给妈妈休息的时间，弟弟也不会像我一样没有钱过得辛苦的日子。

感情还不错，这三月就在一起三年了。根本没想到能那么久，自己也吓了一跳。哈哈

今天就写到这里了，希望大家也天天开心。